I haven't written since April 4th because there hasn't been much to say. Our dossier was submitted to our agency in Kentucky on that date. Since then it has been reviewed multiple times to make sure everything is there, both in Kentucky and at our placing agency in Utah. It was sent to the capital of Utah to get the seal, whatever that's for, then to DC to the US and Ethiopia embassies to be translated and authenticated. We got an email last Monday saying it was being sent from Utah to Ethiopia, and we received a tracking number. Through FedEx tracking we watched it go from Utah to Memphis to Dubai and arrive in Addis Ababa Ethiopia. Technology is so cool!!!
Thursday May 23, 2013 we were DTE, or Date To Ethiopia! It's kind of a big deal. We will talk about this date for years and years to come. Ethiopia adoptive families talk about their DTE and referral dates all the time, and it's what interested parents ask about when considering a country and agency. Those two dates give prospective families an idea of how long their wait for a child might be.
Speaking of wait times, it looks like ours will be very long. We are officially on the wait list and will receive our number the first week in June. Our number will probably be around 120. That means there are 120 families ahead of us. Each family has different specifications for what they are asking for, so only some of those will be asking for a little girl under 2 like us, but still, there are many many families in front of us. Ethiopia is a good program and has gained in popularity with other countries closing or going through changes. I'm thinking our wait will be close to two years. Peter thinks God will move and something will happen and it will be one year, but God is in the lives of all these other families too, and they are praying the same prayers we're praying, so I don't know. But anything is possible with God! When I get discouraged about the wait, I remind myself that we've been talking about adopting for two years, and those years flew by. But most importantly, we have two healthy beautiful boys. For many families on that list, their only hope of having a child is adoption. I heard someone say one time that those years are going to pass whether we're on the waiting list or not. That's so true, we feel like God has called us to do this, the time will pass either way.
So what are we doing in the meantime? We're saving and raising. One good thing about a long wait is it gives us more time to save money and raise money for the adoption costs. We had about 1/3 of it set aside before we began, but that is gone now with all the agency and home study fees and the government documents. We had to charge our last agency payment unfortunately, but have almost raised enough money to pay that off. We don't have anymore money due until we receive a referral. At that time we will have a large amount due to accept the referral, and then an even larger amount needed for travel expenses. I read the other day that airfare to Ethiopia is about $2600/ticket right now, and we will be traveling two times, and taking the boys the first trip. So thankfully we have this time to do yardsales, Facebook-A-Thons, t-shirt sales, etc.
We have a yardsale planned for June 15th and have received lots of donations of stuff to sell. People have been so generous, and it is greatly appreciated! The boys are going to do a lemonade and bake sale too, which they're very excited about. Grandma Pam started a Facebook-A-Thon which is an event where she and we invite our Facebook friends to donate just $5 and invite all their Facebook friends to do the same. It's kind of like a chain letter and ongoing because friends invite friend. People can donate anytime by going to PayPal, and giving to cnstover@hotmail.com or go to the expectingelynne.com website and click on donations and give through the 100 Good Wishes site. We can't tell you how much your donations and support mean to us. We feel so blessed to have such great friends and family. Thank You!
Current Prayer Requests:
- Please pray that we will have a good turnout at the yardsale and that through the yardsale and
Facebook-A-Thon we will be able to pay off this last agency payment
- Pray that Ethiopia will remain a stable and open program while we're waiting.
- Pray for Woudneh, the man in Ethiopia who matches families together with children. Please pray that with
this long waiting list, if he needs an assistant, someone will be hired to help him and keep things moving.
- As always, please pray for Elynne and her biological family.
Thank you all for your support!!!
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Dossier is Submitted!
Well, it's done. We received Peter's passport in the mail yesterday. He quickly signed it and I headed to UPS to overnight our dossier to our agency. My folder, that has held pages and pages of paperwork for eight months, is empty. It's a very strange feeling. It's all out of our hands now. It's up to our case worker, our agencies, Ethiopia, and ultimately God. Now we wait...and wait...and wait. For probably 15-18 months to be matched with a little girl who needs a home and family. Oh, and we decorate! I've been putting off decorating Elynne's room until now, and should probably wait a little longer b/c I'm sure if I painted now, I would change my mind many times over the next two years until she's home. But I have picked out a chandelier from Pottery Barn Kids and a dark skinned handmade doll from ETSY that I will probably order soon :)
As for prayers...
- Please pray that our documents are complete and that they reach West Sands before any are over 6 months old, which is later this month.
- Our dossier will travel to Kentucky, Utah, DC, and Ethiopia. Please pray for all the hands that will touch it as it is translated, authenticated, reviewed and sent to Ethiopia.
- As always, please pray for our process and for Elynne. She's probably not born yet, so please include her biological family in your prayers.
Like I said, it's a very strange feeling to have an empty folder and nothing on my "to do" list. We'll get our waiting list number soon, which will most likely be in the 100's, but it will be our number and we'll finally be on "the list".
We can never express how thankful we are for each of you and your support and prayers.
We'll let you know when we receive our number!
As for prayers...
- Please pray that our documents are complete and that they reach West Sands before any are over 6 months old, which is later this month.
- Our dossier will travel to Kentucky, Utah, DC, and Ethiopia. Please pray for all the hands that will touch it as it is translated, authenticated, reviewed and sent to Ethiopia.
- As always, please pray for our process and for Elynne. She's probably not born yet, so please include her biological family in your prayers.
Like I said, it's a very strange feeling to have an empty folder and nothing on my "to do" list. We'll get our waiting list number soon, which will most likely be in the 100's, but it will be our number and we'll finally be on "the list".
We can never express how thankful we are for each of you and your support and prayers.
We'll let you know when we receive our number!
Monday, March 4, 2013
Beginning the Dossier
We finally received our home study a couple weeks ago, and I quickly ran over to FedEx to send it along with the I600-a application to the USCIS office in Texas so that we could get that part of the process going. It was pretty cool to write a check to the Dept. of Homeland Security :) I've heard it takes about two weeks for them to send our appointment date and time and then another two weeks until we actually go to do our fringerprints.
So our case worker at our agency sent the Dossier packet at that time. I was wondering what additional documents could possibly be needed, b/c it seemed like we had done every background check, every piece of information that told anything about us. I was wrong. Unfortunately, since our home study took over ten weeks to be written, revised, notarized and sent to us, many of our documents have to be redone b/c everything needs to have been completed and notarized within 6 months of sending to our agency. So now we're working on new birth certificates and marriage license, new medical forms, and new employment letters. We also have to get letters from the bank stating we're in good standing, and also go to the police department to get a letter from them saying we're in good standing, b/c I guess local and federal fingerprints are not enough.
It's a crazy process, and it's very easy to get frustrated with it all, but there is a little girl at the other end of all of this that needs a home and who is desperately wanted. I told Peter a couple days back, when we were talking about some crazy thing we had to do, that it was hard to stand up for the process and justify to others that all this makes sense. He said "you don't have to". That's so true. Much of it doesn't make sense, and sometimes it's hard to believe that parts of this paperwork and this process are really necessary to bring a little girl into a safe and loving home. The only thing I can say to justify it is that this is an inter-country relationship between the US and Ethiopia, much of it is necessary to keep the peace. The US wants to make sure that these children being adopted into American families are legally orphaned and/or abandoned. Ethiopia wants to insure that these children are going to safe and loving homes. Governments in other countries, especially African countries do not operate like our US government, so that adds to the time everything takes. All Peter and I can do is remember who is orchestrating this whole thing. He is in control of our process, and however long it takes is however long He needs to prepare us and Elynne to join as a family.
Prayer Requests:
- Adoption Finances - We had a large portion saved, but it is now dwindling. We have a small fee due to our agency when we submit our dossier in a few months. We pray we are able to raise that money and avoid taking out a loan or using our credit card.
- Peace about the Timing - When we started the process, the timing to have our little one home was estimated at 2 years. That has probably increased now b/c of more and more families adopting from Ethiopia. We pray our process will move quickly, but I pray I will let go of this timeline I have in my head and accept that God knows what He's doing and we will have our little Elynne in His perfect time.
So our case worker at our agency sent the Dossier packet at that time. I was wondering what additional documents could possibly be needed, b/c it seemed like we had done every background check, every piece of information that told anything about us. I was wrong. Unfortunately, since our home study took over ten weeks to be written, revised, notarized and sent to us, many of our documents have to be redone b/c everything needs to have been completed and notarized within 6 months of sending to our agency. So now we're working on new birth certificates and marriage license, new medical forms, and new employment letters. We also have to get letters from the bank stating we're in good standing, and also go to the police department to get a letter from them saying we're in good standing, b/c I guess local and federal fingerprints are not enough.
It's a crazy process, and it's very easy to get frustrated with it all, but there is a little girl at the other end of all of this that needs a home and who is desperately wanted. I told Peter a couple days back, when we were talking about some crazy thing we had to do, that it was hard to stand up for the process and justify to others that all this makes sense. He said "you don't have to". That's so true. Much of it doesn't make sense, and sometimes it's hard to believe that parts of this paperwork and this process are really necessary to bring a little girl into a safe and loving home. The only thing I can say to justify it is that this is an inter-country relationship between the US and Ethiopia, much of it is necessary to keep the peace. The US wants to make sure that these children being adopted into American families are legally orphaned and/or abandoned. Ethiopia wants to insure that these children are going to safe and loving homes. Governments in other countries, especially African countries do not operate like our US government, so that adds to the time everything takes. All Peter and I can do is remember who is orchestrating this whole thing. He is in control of our process, and however long it takes is however long He needs to prepare us and Elynne to join as a family.
Prayer Requests:
- Adoption Finances - We had a large portion saved, but it is now dwindling. We have a small fee due to our agency when we submit our dossier in a few months. We pray we are able to raise that money and avoid taking out a loan or using our credit card.
- Peace about the Timing - When we started the process, the timing to have our little one home was estimated at 2 years. That has probably increased now b/c of more and more families adopting from Ethiopia. We pray our process will move quickly, but I pray I will let go of this timeline I have in my head and accept that God knows what He's doing and we will have our little Elynne in His perfect time.
Friday, January 11, 2013
The First of the Waiting
I should really get used to this waiting stuff, but I thought it would be after our dossier is submitted, not so much during the "paperchase".
Our Home Study has been done for over a month now, but all the revisions for Virginia and Ethiopia are taking some time. Our last reference letter should be emailed today, so that will help. Once we have a notarized copy of our Home Study we can submit our I600-A application and do our FBI fingerprints in Charlotte whenever they tell us to go. I didn't realize this approval takes about 3 months to get back, I was hoping for 6 weeks. It's all step-by-step. I'll be working on the dossier during that time so it can all be submitted as soon as that's back.
Some prayer requests for now:
- speedy completion and notarization of the Home Study
- smooth process with the fingerprints
A cute story:
I was laying with Keller the other night and he was talking about Elynne. He said when she comes home he will feed her and hold her. He said she may be scared, and I told him we would love her and try to make her comfortable in her new family and new home. He said he would sing her a lullaby like the ones I sang to him. It's so fun to hear them think about where she is and what it will be like when she comes home.
Our Home Study has been done for over a month now, but all the revisions for Virginia and Ethiopia are taking some time. Our last reference letter should be emailed today, so that will help. Once we have a notarized copy of our Home Study we can submit our I600-A application and do our FBI fingerprints in Charlotte whenever they tell us to go. I didn't realize this approval takes about 3 months to get back, I was hoping for 6 weeks. It's all step-by-step. I'll be working on the dossier during that time so it can all be submitted as soon as that's back.
Some prayer requests for now:
- speedy completion and notarization of the Home Study
- smooth process with the fingerprints
A cute story:
I was laying with Keller the other night and he was talking about Elynne. He said when she comes home he will feed her and hold her. He said she may be scared, and I told him we would love her and try to make her comfortable in her new family and new home. He said he would sing her a lullaby like the ones I sang to him. It's so fun to hear them think about where she is and what it will be like when she comes home.
December 29, 2012
We finally have our website up! We wanted to get all of our required education done before working on the website. Just like we want to get our dossier submitted to Ethiopia before we begin decorating Elynne's room. There's so much to do, and most of it in a certain order. But it's really been fun so far. I think we're so excited to finally be in the process, that the paperwork and education is enjoyable because we're really doing something to bring Elynne home.
Before we began this process I looked at so many blogs about adoption. These adopting moms had such a strong faith and eloquent way of expressing things. Unfortunately that is not me, the eloquence at least. I am by no means a writer or blogger. I just want to put our story out there so that others can hopefully find it helpful and family and friends can keep up with our journey if they want. My favorite part of the blogs I looked at was the timeline. It gave me a little bit of an estimate on what to expect, and how long the process might be. I've kept track of every date so far and have listed most of them on the home page.
I'll fill you in on where we are now. We've completed our home study visits and our home study has been written by our social worker. Our agency is based a couple states away, so we had to find a more local Hague certified agency to use for our home study, even though Ethiopia is not a Hague country. The closest I could find that I liked (based on phone calls and emails with the case workers) was also in another state, but they had a social worker in town that contracted with them for home studies. They were licensed in Virginia and the social worker being local eliminated any extra money we would have to pay for travel time. We are extremely pleased with our placing agency, but one thing I might do different is choose one that is in our state. We have missed out on the get-togethers and bonding with the other families adopting through the agency because they are about 8 hours away. Once we are finished with the "paperchase", I hope we can get in touch with some local families who have adopted or are in the process of adopting.
Anyway, our home study has been sent to the home study agency for review based on Virginia requirements, and it will then be sent to our placing agency for Ethiopia requirements. In the meantime we are filling out the I600-A application that will be sent with our completed/notarized home study to the US government. They will send us a date and time when we are to be in Charlotte, NC for our fingerprints to be done (we've already done one set locally, but this is the BIG ONE). When our I600-A is accepted and we are given approval to adopt and bring a child into the US, we will submit our dossier to Ethiopia with our home study and a whole bunch of official original documents like birth certificates and marriage licenses. We're taking each step at a time, so I'm really not sure of everything that lies ahead, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
Oh yeah, one more thing. Since we passed our home study and have told people we're adopting a little girl from Ethiopia who will be named Elynne, we've been asked a lot of questions about her. The truth is we know nothing about her except that she will be female and under age two. That's what we've asked for in our home study. She may or may not be born yet. It makes it kind of hard when we're praying for her with the boys at night because we don't know if she's in her mom's tummy, with her biological family, or in the orphanage. All we know is that at the time we receive our referral, probably 12-14 months from now, she will be under two years of age. It's very odd to think of your child out there somewhere, but not know where or under what circumstances. We pray for her and her biological family and the caregivers that are caring or will care for her. And we ask you to pray for her as well.
PS - I'll try to do shorter posts from now on, just playing catch up now that the site is up and running!
August 23, 2012
We have begun!
We sent our application to the adoption agency this weekend, and it looks like they have accepted us into their Ethiopia program. At least it seems that way with all the emails and documents we've received.
It's all so exciting. After 19 months of talking and praying about it, and going around the world about 4 times, we have decided on a country and agency. We're hoping to adopt a little girl between 2 and 4 years old. Her name will be Elynne, after her grandmothers. The boys have been calling her by name for probably a year now. They talk about her and say they miss her. We do miss her, but we haven't even met her. She's already a part of our family!besent our application to the adoption agency this weekend, and it looks like they have accepted us into their Ethiopia program. At least it seems that way with all the emails and documents we've rece
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
The First Set-Back
Yesterday I was walking to my car, heading home from work, and I was dreaming about the day we receive our referral and the first picture of our little girl. Tears came to my eyes and I was so thankful to be beginning this journey and feeling like it really is going to happen.
Today I got an email from the woman who will hopefully be guiding us through the process. I was hoping it was her accepting our application, but it wasn't. She traveled to Uganda last month and was emailing to tell the families she's working with that something is going on in Uganda and they don't know the future of their program there. This is a big blow b/c we have been researching countries and programs for over a year. Each time we thought we had decided on a country, we would read something about changes in that country and how adoptions are being suspended by agencies b/c they are uncertain what those changes mean to the adoption process and whether or not adoptions from that country can be successful at this time. We've been so excited about Uganda. We felt like we found a good organization to guide us. We knew it was going to be a long long process, but we were excited to get going with it.
After a good little cry while driving down the road, I started thinking about things. God is in control here. We have two biological children and were working on a third when He put this on our hearts. I don't believe that God would change our path like that without a complete plan. We want more children and could have them the usual way, but we want to follow God's plan for growing our family. I'm disappointed that Uganda may be heading the same way the other countries have for us, but nothing is certain yet. God has a plan in Uganda and a plan in our family. We'll pray that the changes or decisions in Uganda are positive for the children there. If they cause delays in the adoptions from that country, we'll pray that they are temporary and adoptions will pick up again quickly. And we'll be praying that God tells us if we are supposed to continue with Uganda or change countries again. I can't imagine how people live without God. I'm so thankful to know that I'm not in control.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
God is good, all the time! It's easy to say that now, but I pray I recognize that more and more when I'm not thinking life is good at the moment. He is in control, He is guiding my path, and He always has a plan for my life.
Thomas and Keller are so fun right now. The weather is getting warmer and we are spending more time in the backyard. Peter built a zipline from the kids' swingset (the Black Pearl) to the tree the hammock hangs from. They're so cute swinging across the yard. It's so nice when they're getting along and talk nicely to each other. Now I know how my mom felt when I overheard her talking to my 2nd grade teacher, tearfully asking if Brent and I would ever get along. I'm sure kids just go through phases where they are closer than others and get along better. But boy is it a beautiful sight to see them swinging side by side having a nice conversation.
This last week the boys haven't been getting in bed as early as usual b/c of the light outside and extended time outside playing. Instead of reading every night Thomas has started telling Keller stories from the top bunk. Keller asks to hear stories about his little sister. Thomas talks about Peter, Carly, Thomas and Keller wanting a baby sister. He says they went all the way to Africa (sometimes calling it Florida) and did a lot of stuff there and finally brought her home. She grew up to be a doctor and helped a lot of people. The next day she was a Zoologist. I ask Keller what he's going to teach his little sister and he says he's going to teach her to sword fight. They say she can be Elizabeth, since they are Jack Sparrow or Will Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean.
Unexpectedly, we are buying a house and closing April 26th. We were NOT looking for a house. We are comfortable where we are, and LOVE our backyard. But it's been in the back of our minds that we would someday need more room and especially another bedroom. My brother, Brent, is a realtor and showed me a house that I asked to see near my parents house back in February. After seeing that one, he told me about another one that is his favorite on the market and one owned by a family he knew well. He had been to that house many times for engagement parties and family get-togethers. I immediately loved it. It had 4 bedrooms on the main level, a good size basement, extra bathrooms, and a similar floorplan to what we have now. And, it had a pool! We never wanted a pool before, but somehow this house, backyard and pool just fit. I always thought of a two story home and the pool being far from the house where I couldn't see or hear the kids from the kitchen windows or get to them quickly. This pool is maybe 20 feet from the kitchen door. I called Peter and told him he had to come see the house on the way home from work, and I called the lender before Peter had seen it. Thankfully, Peter loved it too, maybe even more than I did.
Well, we've been working through all the paperwork, inspections, appraisals, loan stuff, and we're so excited to have this home of our own to raise our family and hopefully be in forever. And the main reason we love it is because we picture our growing family there. We picture our pasty white boys running around the house and swimming in that pool, but we also picture our little chocolate skinned daughter running along behind them. She is in every dream we have for this home. Her name is already on one of the bedrooms and I'm already thinking of how I'm going to paint it and I have pages of Pottery Barn Kids torn out with ideas for bedding, just like I did when I was pregnant with the boys.
We're making some changes in our lives right now in preparation for our growing family. I'm trying to work more hours and think about how I'm going to manage when we bring her home. We're moving so that our home will be ready for her and each of our children will have their own space and plenty of room to run and play. We're laying down roots in a school district so that after Thomas changes schools next year, we won't have to worry about switching again. We plan to be in this HOME for a long long time.
It's an exciting time in our lives right now. This age is so much fun b/c we're all growing our families and enjoying our little ones. We have our struggles, but we support each other and understand this phase in our lives. Unfortunately we don't personally know anyone who has recently adopted internationally, but hopefully that will change soon, as we begin our process. But none the less, it's exciting to watch families grow, even if our way is a little different from theirs.
We are blessed. And we feel extremely blessed that God has put us on this path.
Thomas and Keller are so fun right now. The weather is getting warmer and we are spending more time in the backyard. Peter built a zipline from the kids' swingset (the Black Pearl) to the tree the hammock hangs from. They're so cute swinging across the yard. It's so nice when they're getting along and talk nicely to each other. Now I know how my mom felt when I overheard her talking to my 2nd grade teacher, tearfully asking if Brent and I would ever get along. I'm sure kids just go through phases where they are closer than others and get along better. But boy is it a beautiful sight to see them swinging side by side having a nice conversation.
This last week the boys haven't been getting in bed as early as usual b/c of the light outside and extended time outside playing. Instead of reading every night Thomas has started telling Keller stories from the top bunk. Keller asks to hear stories about his little sister. Thomas talks about Peter, Carly, Thomas and Keller wanting a baby sister. He says they went all the way to Africa (sometimes calling it Florida) and did a lot of stuff there and finally brought her home. She grew up to be a doctor and helped a lot of people. The next day she was a Zoologist. I ask Keller what he's going to teach his little sister and he says he's going to teach her to sword fight. They say she can be Elizabeth, since they are Jack Sparrow or Will Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean.
Unexpectedly, we are buying a house and closing April 26th. We were NOT looking for a house. We are comfortable where we are, and LOVE our backyard. But it's been in the back of our minds that we would someday need more room and especially another bedroom. My brother, Brent, is a realtor and showed me a house that I asked to see near my parents house back in February. After seeing that one, he told me about another one that is his favorite on the market and one owned by a family he knew well. He had been to that house many times for engagement parties and family get-togethers. I immediately loved it. It had 4 bedrooms on the main level, a good size basement, extra bathrooms, and a similar floorplan to what we have now. And, it had a pool! We never wanted a pool before, but somehow this house, backyard and pool just fit. I always thought of a two story home and the pool being far from the house where I couldn't see or hear the kids from the kitchen windows or get to them quickly. This pool is maybe 20 feet from the kitchen door. I called Peter and told him he had to come see the house on the way home from work, and I called the lender before Peter had seen it. Thankfully, Peter loved it too, maybe even more than I did.
Well, we've been working through all the paperwork, inspections, appraisals, loan stuff, and we're so excited to have this home of our own to raise our family and hopefully be in forever. And the main reason we love it is because we picture our growing family there. We picture our pasty white boys running around the house and swimming in that pool, but we also picture our little chocolate skinned daughter running along behind them. She is in every dream we have for this home. Her name is already on one of the bedrooms and I'm already thinking of how I'm going to paint it and I have pages of Pottery Barn Kids torn out with ideas for bedding, just like I did when I was pregnant with the boys.
We're making some changes in our lives right now in preparation for our growing family. I'm trying to work more hours and think about how I'm going to manage when we bring her home. We're moving so that our home will be ready for her and each of our children will have their own space and plenty of room to run and play. We're laying down roots in a school district so that after Thomas changes schools next year, we won't have to worry about switching again. We plan to be in this HOME for a long long time.
It's an exciting time in our lives right now. This age is so much fun b/c we're all growing our families and enjoying our little ones. We have our struggles, but we support each other and understand this phase in our lives. Unfortunately we don't personally know anyone who has recently adopted internationally, but hopefully that will change soon, as we begin our process. But none the less, it's exciting to watch families grow, even if our way is a little different from theirs.
We are blessed. And we feel extremely blessed that God has put us on this path.
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