God is good, all the time! It's easy to say that now, but I pray I recognize that more and more when I'm not thinking life is good at the moment. He is in control, He is guiding my path, and He always has a plan for my life.

Thomas and Keller are so fun right now. The weather is getting warmer and we are spending more time in the backyard. Peter built a zipline from the kids' swingset (the Black Pearl) to the tree the hammock hangs from. They're so cute swinging across the yard. It's so nice when they're getting along and talk nicely to each other. Now I know how my mom felt when I overheard her talking to my 2nd grade teacher, tearfully asking if Brent and I would ever get along. I'm sure kids just go through phases where they are closer than others and get along better. But boy is it a beautiful sight to see them swinging side by side having a nice conversation.

This last week the boys haven't been getting in bed as early as usual b/c of the light outside and extended time outside playing. Instead of reading every night Thomas has started telling Keller stories from the top bunk. Keller asks to hear stories about his little sister. Thomas talks about Peter, Carly, Thomas and Keller wanting a baby sister. He says they went all the way to Africa (sometimes calling it Florida) and did a lot of stuff there and finally brought her home. She grew up to be a doctor and helped a lot of people. The next day she was a Zoologist. I ask Keller what he's going to teach his little sister and he says he's going to teach her to sword fight. They say she can be Elizabeth, since they are Jack Sparrow or Will Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean.

Unexpectedly, we are buying a house and closing April 26th. We were NOT looking for a house. We are comfortable where we are, and LOVE our backyard. But it's been in the back of our minds that we would someday need more room and especially another bedroom. My brother, Brent, is a realtor and showed me a house that I asked to see near my parents house back in February. After seeing that one, he told me about another one that is his favorite on the market and one owned by a family he knew well. He had been to that house many times for engagement parties and family get-togethers. I immediately loved it. It had 4 bedrooms on the main level, a good size basement, extra bathrooms, and a similar floorplan to what we have now. And, it had a pool! We never wanted a pool before, but somehow this house, backyard and pool just fit. I always thought of a two story home and the pool being far from the house where I couldn't see or hear the kids from the kitchen windows or get to them quickly. This pool is maybe 20 feet from the kitchen door. I called Peter and told him he had to come see the house on the way home from work, and I called the lender before Peter had seen it. Thankfully, Peter loved it too, maybe even more than I did.

Well, we've been working through all the paperwork, inspections, appraisals, loan stuff, and we're so excited to have this home of our own to raise our family and hopefully be in forever. And the main reason we love it is because we picture our growing family there. We picture our pasty white boys running around the house and swimming in that pool, but we also picture our little chocolate skinned daughter running along behind them. She is in every dream we have for this home. Her name is already on one of the bedrooms and I'm already thinking of how I'm going to paint it and I have pages of Pottery Barn Kids torn out with ideas for bedding, just like I did when I was pregnant with the boys.

We're making some changes in our lives right now in preparation for our growing family. I'm trying to work more hours and think about how I'm going to manage when we bring her home. We're moving so that our home will be ready for her and each of our children will have their own space and plenty of room to run and play. We're laying down roots in a school district so that after Thomas changes schools next year, we won't have to worry about switching again. We plan to be in this HOME for a long long time.

It's an exciting time in our lives right now. This age is so much fun b/c we're all growing our families and enjoying our little ones. We have our struggles, but we support each other and understand this phase in our lives. Unfortunately we don't personally know anyone who has recently adopted internationally, but hopefully that will change soon, as we begin our process. But none the less, it's exciting to watch families grow, even if our way is a little different from theirs.

We are blessed. And we feel extremely blessed that God has put us on this path.

Let The Journey Begin!!!

I'm obviously not a blogger, as you can see I haven't written anything on here in a year. But as this incredible journey begins, I want to log every single part of it.


Today, March 20th 2012, we officially begin the process of adopting our daughter. We've met with our minister Tom, and we received his recommendation in the mail today. After putting the kids to bed tonight I went straight to FedEx/Kinkos to send in our application. I have a feeling the nice people at Kinkos are going to become good friends. They were all super helpful. The delivery guy stayed so that our package would go out tonight, and when the girl handed it to him she jokingly said "ok, lets say a prayer over this". She was kidding and picking at the delivery guy, but I thought it was appropriate.


After researching and reading and googling for over a year, it feels so good to be at this point. To finally have decided on a country and "agency". We've decided to do an independent adoption from Uganda and use an organization started by a woman who adopted from Rwanda. Our prayer at this point is that she will accept us and take us on as one of her adoptive families. This is only the beginning of a long process, but we're just excited to get started and get everything in place for when God brings her to us. We've been praying for her for a long time and can't wait to welcome her into our family.


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Me Again - It's Only Been Two Months!

Where to start. So much is running through my head. Peter and I have talked about trying to have another child and about adoption a lot over the last 2 months. The first time we talked was awful. I had been thinking about it for a couple weeks and it came as a surprise to Peter. Not that he was against it, he has a lot of adoption in his family and has always been open to adopting himself, it was just bad timing. But since then we have gone back and forth with the thought of a biological child or an adopted child. We tried to get pregnant on Clomid, like we used with Keller, but my heart wasn't in it. It was so strange. Then a girl I work with announced she was pregnant. And then another girl I work with announced she was pregnant. I wasn't jealous at all. That was new.

Yesterday at work I was one of the nurses for a great couple having their second boy. Their boys were about 34 months apart, which is what Thomas and Keller are. There was a small part of me that wanted to experience that joy of birth and meeting our child for the first time. At the gym this morning there were 2 pregnant women doing cardio upstairs where I was. At first I got a little hurt in my stomach. I think what I want is that anticipation and excitement to share with friends. Adoption wouldn't be the same, but there would still be great anticipation and excitement between receiving the picture and actually going to get our new daughter. Not exactly the same, but it can still be a time of great joy as we share what we're doing with friends and post on Facebook our joys and progress, just like a couple expecting a biological child. It's silly I know.

The more I think about my age and the things that can happen during delivery and the birth defects or conditions that kids can be born with, I am concerned about having another one. We know neural tube defects run in my family. I feel like I don't want to push my luck. We have 2 beautiful healthy children, just b/c I want 4 doesn't mean I have to push my luck. After talking with a family member over the holidays about wanting so badly to be able to get pregnant and carry a child, I thought it would be such a blow to her if we got pregnant again. We were trying to get pregnant then, and I just felt like I couldn't imagine telling her that we were pregnant with our third child. The more I thought about her, the more I thought about all the children out there that need a home and family. Not that she should consider it. If I were not able to be pregnant in my life, I would always feel like I missed out on one, if not the, greatest experience possible. Just that there were parents yearning for children and children yearning for a family. I realized when talking to her that even though I wanted 4 children, there was no reason why they had to be our biological children. The feeling wouldn't leave me and it keeps getting stronger and stronger.

I look at adoption websites almost daily, just reading up on Rwanda and Uganda and the process and paperwork and timeline and expenses. I look at pictures and youtube videos of families with their newly adopted children and tears flow down my face. I can't get it off my mind and I don't want to. I want to talk to Peter about it all the time. I mention it to the kids, just to get an idea of what they think, even though they really couldn't understand the magnitued of it all. There are so many things to consider. But all I know is there is or will be a child out there that needs a loving Christian home. Anytime I've ever heard of a crisis or natural distaster happening, the first thing I think of is the children and wanting to bring them to a safe place. It's a lot to ask of Peter and the boys, and I wouldn't dare ask. Peter has to feel the call, like I think I do. It's so hard to know if it's a call or a strong personal desire. I want it to be God's plan, not mine. That's the only way it would work or be possible. Anyway, it has to be right for all of us.

So many thoughts. So much excitement, anticipation and questions. I look forward to seeing what happens.

Feeling A Call

Ok, I NEVER expected that I would be a blogger, but as Peter and I begin to talk about adoption, I would love to have a record of our thoughts and the journey if we go through with it.  And if not, I can just talk about Thomas and Keller all the time!

Why would a busy working mother of two preschool age boys, with a husband who will be going back to school soon, consider adopting a child or two? Maybe I'm out of my mind, but I feel that way half the time anyway, so why try to change it.

Thomas is 5 and Keller is 2. They are the most wonderful boys and have made our life "Joyful Chaos". We wouldn't have it any other way. We've been discussing having another child for over a year now. Peter is happy with our two, and I am too, but I always wanted more. We've been trying to get pregnant for a total of about 7 months with no success. Is God trying to tell us something? I work in Labor & Delivery now and at first it made me want to be pregnant again. I loved being pregnant and the whole process of welcoming a new little one into the world. But lately there have been some women who have come in for routine deliveries and the babies have been born with minor problems. Would I be pushing my luck if we tried to have another one? Peter and I have always felt that if we had a child with a disability it would be b/c God trusted us to care for one of his special ones. But what if us not getting pregnant again is God saying He has other plans for us.

Peter and I have talked about adoption since we were first married, maybe before. I always thought that I would love to have two or three of my own and then adopt two that are biological siblings. Until just a couple days ago I felt like I wanted to be pregnant again. When I was pregnant with Keller I never thought that it would be my last pregnancy. I wanted to know when it would be my last so that I would treasure every moment of it. Well, I did treasure every moment of each of my pregnancies, and I think I would be ok with never being pregnant again. But I'm not ok with not having any more children. We've tried to get pregnant, and I don't want to go on Clomid like last time. I'm wondering if God is leading us on a different path. And I'm so excited about it!