We finally received our home study a couple weeks ago, and I quickly ran over to FedEx to send it along with the I600-a application to the USCIS office in Texas so that we could get that part of the process going. It was pretty cool to write a check to the Dept. of Homeland Security :) I've heard it takes about two weeks for them to send our appointment date and time and then another two weeks until we actually go to do our fringerprints.
So our case worker at our agency sent the Dossier packet at that time. I was wondering what additional documents could possibly be needed, b/c it seemed like we had done every background check, every piece of information that told anything about us. I was wrong. Unfortunately, since our home study took over ten weeks to be written, revised, notarized and sent to us, many of our documents have to be redone b/c everything needs to have been completed and notarized within 6 months of sending to our agency. So now we're working on new birth certificates and marriage license, new medical forms, and new employment letters. We also have to get letters from the bank stating we're in good standing, and also go to the police department to get a letter from them saying we're in good standing, b/c I guess local and federal fingerprints are not enough.
It's a crazy process, and it's very easy to get frustrated with it all, but there is a little girl at the other end of all of this that needs a home and who is desperately wanted. I told Peter a couple days back, when we were talking about some crazy thing we had to do, that it was hard to stand up for the process and justify to others that all this makes sense. He said "you don't have to". That's so true. Much of it doesn't make sense, and sometimes it's hard to believe that parts of this paperwork and this process are really necessary to bring a little girl into a safe and loving home. The only thing I can say to justify it is that this is an inter-country relationship between the US and Ethiopia, much of it is necessary to keep the peace. The US wants to make sure that these children being adopted into American families are legally orphaned and/or abandoned. Ethiopia wants to insure that these children are going to safe and loving homes. Governments in other countries, especially African countries do not operate like our US government, so that adds to the time everything takes. All Peter and I can do is remember who is orchestrating this whole thing. He is in control of our process, and however long it takes is however long He needs to prepare us and Elynne to join as a family.
Prayer Requests:
- Adoption Finances - We had a large portion saved, but it is now dwindling. We have a small fee due to our agency when we submit our dossier in a few months. We pray we are able to raise that money and avoid taking out a loan or using our credit card.
- Peace about the Timing - When we started the process, the timing to have our little one home was estimated at 2 years. That has probably increased now b/c of more and more families adopting from Ethiopia. We pray our process will move quickly, but I pray I will let go of this timeline I have in my head and accept that God knows what He's doing and we will have our little Elynne in His perfect time.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
The First of the Waiting
I should really get used to this waiting stuff, but I thought it would be after our dossier is submitted, not so much during the "paperchase".
Our Home Study has been done for over a month now, but all the revisions for Virginia and Ethiopia are taking some time. Our last reference letter should be emailed today, so that will help. Once we have a notarized copy of our Home Study we can submit our I600-A application and do our FBI fingerprints in Charlotte whenever they tell us to go. I didn't realize this approval takes about 3 months to get back, I was hoping for 6 weeks. It's all step-by-step. I'll be working on the dossier during that time so it can all be submitted as soon as that's back.
Some prayer requests for now:
- speedy completion and notarization of the Home Study
- smooth process with the fingerprints
A cute story:
I was laying with Keller the other night and he was talking about Elynne. He said when she comes home he will feed her and hold her. He said she may be scared, and I told him we would love her and try to make her comfortable in her new family and new home. He said he would sing her a lullaby like the ones I sang to him. It's so fun to hear them think about where she is and what it will be like when she comes home.
Our Home Study has been done for over a month now, but all the revisions for Virginia and Ethiopia are taking some time. Our last reference letter should be emailed today, so that will help. Once we have a notarized copy of our Home Study we can submit our I600-A application and do our FBI fingerprints in Charlotte whenever they tell us to go. I didn't realize this approval takes about 3 months to get back, I was hoping for 6 weeks. It's all step-by-step. I'll be working on the dossier during that time so it can all be submitted as soon as that's back.
Some prayer requests for now:
- speedy completion and notarization of the Home Study
- smooth process with the fingerprints
A cute story:
I was laying with Keller the other night and he was talking about Elynne. He said when she comes home he will feed her and hold her. He said she may be scared, and I told him we would love her and try to make her comfortable in her new family and new home. He said he would sing her a lullaby like the ones I sang to him. It's so fun to hear them think about where she is and what it will be like when she comes home.
December 29, 2012
We finally have our website up! We wanted to get all of our required education done before working on the website. Just like we want to get our dossier submitted to Ethiopia before we begin decorating Elynne's room. There's so much to do, and most of it in a certain order. But it's really been fun so far. I think we're so excited to finally be in the process, that the paperwork and education is enjoyable because we're really doing something to bring Elynne home.
Before we began this process I looked at so many blogs about adoption. These adopting moms had such a strong faith and eloquent way of expressing things. Unfortunately that is not me, the eloquence at least. I am by no means a writer or blogger. I just want to put our story out there so that others can hopefully find it helpful and family and friends can keep up with our journey if they want. My favorite part of the blogs I looked at was the timeline. It gave me a little bit of an estimate on what to expect, and how long the process might be. I've kept track of every date so far and have listed most of them on the home page.
I'll fill you in on where we are now. We've completed our home study visits and our home study has been written by our social worker. Our agency is based a couple states away, so we had to find a more local Hague certified agency to use for our home study, even though Ethiopia is not a Hague country. The closest I could find that I liked (based on phone calls and emails with the case workers) was also in another state, but they had a social worker in town that contracted with them for home studies. They were licensed in Virginia and the social worker being local eliminated any extra money we would have to pay for travel time. We are extremely pleased with our placing agency, but one thing I might do different is choose one that is in our state. We have missed out on the get-togethers and bonding with the other families adopting through the agency because they are about 8 hours away. Once we are finished with the "paperchase", I hope we can get in touch with some local families who have adopted or are in the process of adopting.
Anyway, our home study has been sent to the home study agency for review based on Virginia requirements, and it will then be sent to our placing agency for Ethiopia requirements. In the meantime we are filling out the I600-A application that will be sent with our completed/notarized home study to the US government. They will send us a date and time when we are to be in Charlotte, NC for our fingerprints to be done (we've already done one set locally, but this is the BIG ONE). When our I600-A is accepted and we are given approval to adopt and bring a child into the US, we will submit our dossier to Ethiopia with our home study and a whole bunch of official original documents like birth certificates and marriage licenses. We're taking each step at a time, so I'm really not sure of everything that lies ahead, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
Oh yeah, one more thing. Since we passed our home study and have told people we're adopting a little girl from Ethiopia who will be named Elynne, we've been asked a lot of questions about her. The truth is we know nothing about her except that she will be female and under age two. That's what we've asked for in our home study. She may or may not be born yet. It makes it kind of hard when we're praying for her with the boys at night because we don't know if she's in her mom's tummy, with her biological family, or in the orphanage. All we know is that at the time we receive our referral, probably 12-14 months from now, she will be under two years of age. It's very odd to think of your child out there somewhere, but not know where or under what circumstances. We pray for her and her biological family and the caregivers that are caring or will care for her. And we ask you to pray for her as well.
PS - I'll try to do shorter posts from now on, just playing catch up now that the site is up and running!
August 23, 2012
We have begun!
We sent our application to the adoption agency this weekend, and it looks like they have accepted us into their Ethiopia program. At least it seems that way with all the emails and documents we've received.
It's all so exciting. After 19 months of talking and praying about it, and going around the world about 4 times, we have decided on a country and agency. We're hoping to adopt a little girl between 2 and 4 years old. Her name will be Elynne, after her grandmothers. The boys have been calling her by name for probably a year now. They talk about her and say they miss her. We do miss her, but we haven't even met her. She's already a part of our family!besent our application to the adoption agency this weekend, and it looks like they have accepted us into their Ethiopia program. At least it seems that way with all the emails and documents we've rece
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
The First Set-Back
Yesterday I was walking to my car, heading home from work, and I was dreaming about the day we receive our referral and the first picture of our little girl. Tears came to my eyes and I was so thankful to be beginning this journey and feeling like it really is going to happen.
Today I got an email from the woman who will hopefully be guiding us through the process. I was hoping it was her accepting our application, but it wasn't. She traveled to Uganda last month and was emailing to tell the families she's working with that something is going on in Uganda and they don't know the future of their program there. This is a big blow b/c we have been researching countries and programs for over a year. Each time we thought we had decided on a country, we would read something about changes in that country and how adoptions are being suspended by agencies b/c they are uncertain what those changes mean to the adoption process and whether or not adoptions from that country can be successful at this time. We've been so excited about Uganda. We felt like we found a good organization to guide us. We knew it was going to be a long long process, but we were excited to get going with it.
After a good little cry while driving down the road, I started thinking about things. God is in control here. We have two biological children and were working on a third when He put this on our hearts. I don't believe that God would change our path like that without a complete plan. We want more children and could have them the usual way, but we want to follow God's plan for growing our family. I'm disappointed that Uganda may be heading the same way the other countries have for us, but nothing is certain yet. God has a plan in Uganda and a plan in our family. We'll pray that the changes or decisions in Uganda are positive for the children there. If they cause delays in the adoptions from that country, we'll pray that they are temporary and adoptions will pick up again quickly. And we'll be praying that God tells us if we are supposed to continue with Uganda or change countries again. I can't imagine how people live without God. I'm so thankful to know that I'm not in control.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
God is good, all the time! It's easy to say that now, but I pray I recognize that more and more when I'm not thinking life is good at the moment. He is in control, He is guiding my path, and He always has a plan for my life.
Thomas and Keller are so fun right now. The weather is getting warmer and we are spending more time in the backyard. Peter built a zipline from the kids' swingset (the Black Pearl) to the tree the hammock hangs from. They're so cute swinging across the yard. It's so nice when they're getting along and talk nicely to each other. Now I know how my mom felt when I overheard her talking to my 2nd grade teacher, tearfully asking if Brent and I would ever get along. I'm sure kids just go through phases where they are closer than others and get along better. But boy is it a beautiful sight to see them swinging side by side having a nice conversation.
This last week the boys haven't been getting in bed as early as usual b/c of the light outside and extended time outside playing. Instead of reading every night Thomas has started telling Keller stories from the top bunk. Keller asks to hear stories about his little sister. Thomas talks about Peter, Carly, Thomas and Keller wanting a baby sister. He says they went all the way to Africa (sometimes calling it Florida) and did a lot of stuff there and finally brought her home. She grew up to be a doctor and helped a lot of people. The next day she was a Zoologist. I ask Keller what he's going to teach his little sister and he says he's going to teach her to sword fight. They say she can be Elizabeth, since they are Jack Sparrow or Will Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean.
Unexpectedly, we are buying a house and closing April 26th. We were NOT looking for a house. We are comfortable where we are, and LOVE our backyard. But it's been in the back of our minds that we would someday need more room and especially another bedroom. My brother, Brent, is a realtor and showed me a house that I asked to see near my parents house back in February. After seeing that one, he told me about another one that is his favorite on the market and one owned by a family he knew well. He had been to that house many times for engagement parties and family get-togethers. I immediately loved it. It had 4 bedrooms on the main level, a good size basement, extra bathrooms, and a similar floorplan to what we have now. And, it had a pool! We never wanted a pool before, but somehow this house, backyard and pool just fit. I always thought of a two story home and the pool being far from the house where I couldn't see or hear the kids from the kitchen windows or get to them quickly. This pool is maybe 20 feet from the kitchen door. I called Peter and told him he had to come see the house on the way home from work, and I called the lender before Peter had seen it. Thankfully, Peter loved it too, maybe even more than I did.
Well, we've been working through all the paperwork, inspections, appraisals, loan stuff, and we're so excited to have this home of our own to raise our family and hopefully be in forever. And the main reason we love it is because we picture our growing family there. We picture our pasty white boys running around the house and swimming in that pool, but we also picture our little chocolate skinned daughter running along behind them. She is in every dream we have for this home. Her name is already on one of the bedrooms and I'm already thinking of how I'm going to paint it and I have pages of Pottery Barn Kids torn out with ideas for bedding, just like I did when I was pregnant with the boys.
We're making some changes in our lives right now in preparation for our growing family. I'm trying to work more hours and think about how I'm going to manage when we bring her home. We're moving so that our home will be ready for her and each of our children will have their own space and plenty of room to run and play. We're laying down roots in a school district so that after Thomas changes schools next year, we won't have to worry about switching again. We plan to be in this HOME for a long long time.
It's an exciting time in our lives right now. This age is so much fun b/c we're all growing our families and enjoying our little ones. We have our struggles, but we support each other and understand this phase in our lives. Unfortunately we don't personally know anyone who has recently adopted internationally, but hopefully that will change soon, as we begin our process. But none the less, it's exciting to watch families grow, even if our way is a little different from theirs.
We are blessed. And we feel extremely blessed that God has put us on this path.
Thomas and Keller are so fun right now. The weather is getting warmer and we are spending more time in the backyard. Peter built a zipline from the kids' swingset (the Black Pearl) to the tree the hammock hangs from. They're so cute swinging across the yard. It's so nice when they're getting along and talk nicely to each other. Now I know how my mom felt when I overheard her talking to my 2nd grade teacher, tearfully asking if Brent and I would ever get along. I'm sure kids just go through phases where they are closer than others and get along better. But boy is it a beautiful sight to see them swinging side by side having a nice conversation.
This last week the boys haven't been getting in bed as early as usual b/c of the light outside and extended time outside playing. Instead of reading every night Thomas has started telling Keller stories from the top bunk. Keller asks to hear stories about his little sister. Thomas talks about Peter, Carly, Thomas and Keller wanting a baby sister. He says they went all the way to Africa (sometimes calling it Florida) and did a lot of stuff there and finally brought her home. She grew up to be a doctor and helped a lot of people. The next day she was a Zoologist. I ask Keller what he's going to teach his little sister and he says he's going to teach her to sword fight. They say she can be Elizabeth, since they are Jack Sparrow or Will Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean.
Unexpectedly, we are buying a house and closing April 26th. We were NOT looking for a house. We are comfortable where we are, and LOVE our backyard. But it's been in the back of our minds that we would someday need more room and especially another bedroom. My brother, Brent, is a realtor and showed me a house that I asked to see near my parents house back in February. After seeing that one, he told me about another one that is his favorite on the market and one owned by a family he knew well. He had been to that house many times for engagement parties and family get-togethers. I immediately loved it. It had 4 bedrooms on the main level, a good size basement, extra bathrooms, and a similar floorplan to what we have now. And, it had a pool! We never wanted a pool before, but somehow this house, backyard and pool just fit. I always thought of a two story home and the pool being far from the house where I couldn't see or hear the kids from the kitchen windows or get to them quickly. This pool is maybe 20 feet from the kitchen door. I called Peter and told him he had to come see the house on the way home from work, and I called the lender before Peter had seen it. Thankfully, Peter loved it too, maybe even more than I did.
Well, we've been working through all the paperwork, inspections, appraisals, loan stuff, and we're so excited to have this home of our own to raise our family and hopefully be in forever. And the main reason we love it is because we picture our growing family there. We picture our pasty white boys running around the house and swimming in that pool, but we also picture our little chocolate skinned daughter running along behind them. She is in every dream we have for this home. Her name is already on one of the bedrooms and I'm already thinking of how I'm going to paint it and I have pages of Pottery Barn Kids torn out with ideas for bedding, just like I did when I was pregnant with the boys.
We're making some changes in our lives right now in preparation for our growing family. I'm trying to work more hours and think about how I'm going to manage when we bring her home. We're moving so that our home will be ready for her and each of our children will have their own space and plenty of room to run and play. We're laying down roots in a school district so that after Thomas changes schools next year, we won't have to worry about switching again. We plan to be in this HOME for a long long time.
It's an exciting time in our lives right now. This age is so much fun b/c we're all growing our families and enjoying our little ones. We have our struggles, but we support each other and understand this phase in our lives. Unfortunately we don't personally know anyone who has recently adopted internationally, but hopefully that will change soon, as we begin our process. But none the less, it's exciting to watch families grow, even if our way is a little different from theirs.
We are blessed. And we feel extremely blessed that God has put us on this path.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Let The Journey Begin!!!
I'm obviously not a blogger, as you can see I haven't written anything on here in a year. But as this incredible journey begins, I want to log every single part of it.
Today, March 20th 2012, we officially begin the process of adopting our daughter. We've met with our minister Tom, and we received his recommendation in the mail today. After putting the kids to bed tonight I went straight to FedEx/Kinkos to send in our application. I have a feeling the nice people at Kinkos are going to become good friends. They were all super helpful. The delivery guy stayed so that our package would go out tonight, and when the girl handed it to him she jokingly said "ok, lets say a prayer over this". She was kidding and picking at the delivery guy, but I thought it was appropriate.
After researching and reading and googling for over a year, it feels so good to be at this point. To finally have decided on a country and "agency". We've decided to do an independent adoption from Uganda and use an organization started by a woman who adopted from Rwanda. Our prayer at this point is that she will accept us and take us on as one of her adoptive families. This is only the beginning of a long process, but we're just excited to get started and get everything in place for when God brings her to us. We've been praying for her for a long time and can't wait to welcome her into our family.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Today, March 20th 2012, we officially begin the process of adopting our daughter. We've met with our minister Tom, and we received his recommendation in the mail today. After putting the kids to bed tonight I went straight to FedEx/Kinkos to send in our application. I have a feeling the nice people at Kinkos are going to become good friends. They were all super helpful. The delivery guy stayed so that our package would go out tonight, and when the girl handed it to him she jokingly said "ok, lets say a prayer over this". She was kidding and picking at the delivery guy, but I thought it was appropriate.
After researching and reading and googling for over a year, it feels so good to be at this point. To finally have decided on a country and "agency". We've decided to do an independent adoption from Uganda and use an organization started by a woman who adopted from Rwanda. Our prayer at this point is that she will accept us and take us on as one of her adoptive families. This is only the beginning of a long process, but we're just excited to get started and get everything in place for when God brings her to us. We've been praying for her for a long time and can't wait to welcome her into our family.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Me Again - It's Only Been Two Months!
Where to start. So much is running through my head. Peter and I have talked about trying to have another child and about adoption a lot over the last 2 months. The first time we talked was awful. I had been thinking about it for a couple weeks and it came as a surprise to Peter. Not that he was against it, he has a lot of adoption in his family and has always been open to adopting himself, it was just bad timing. But since then we have gone back and forth with the thought of a biological child or an adopted child. We tried to get pregnant on Clomid, like we used with Keller, but my heart wasn't in it. It was so strange. Then a girl I work with announced she was pregnant. And then another girl I work with announced she was pregnant. I wasn't jealous at all. That was new.
Yesterday at work I was one of the nurses for a great couple having their second boy. Their boys were about 34 months apart, which is what Thomas and Keller are. There was a small part of me that wanted to experience that joy of birth and meeting our child for the first time. At the gym this morning there were 2 pregnant women doing cardio upstairs where I was. At first I got a little hurt in my stomach. I think what I want is that anticipation and excitement to share with friends. Adoption wouldn't be the same, but there would still be great anticipation and excitement between receiving the picture and actually going to get our new daughter. Not exactly the same, but it can still be a time of great joy as we share what we're doing with friends and post on Facebook our joys and progress, just like a couple expecting a biological child. It's silly I know.
The more I think about my age and the things that can happen during delivery and the birth defects or conditions that kids can be born with, I am concerned about having another one. We know neural tube defects run in my family. I feel like I don't want to push my luck. We have 2 beautiful healthy children, just b/c I want 4 doesn't mean I have to push my luck. After talking with a family member over the holidays about wanting so badly to be able to get pregnant and carry a child, I thought it would be such a blow to her if we got pregnant again. We were trying to get pregnant then, and I just felt like I couldn't imagine telling her that we were pregnant with our third child. The more I thought about her, the more I thought about all the children out there that need a home and family. Not that she should consider it. If I were not able to be pregnant in my life, I would always feel like I missed out on one, if not the, greatest experience possible. Just that there were parents yearning for children and children yearning for a family. I realized when talking to her that even though I wanted 4 children, there was no reason why they had to be our biological children. The feeling wouldn't leave me and it keeps getting stronger and stronger.
I look at adoption websites almost daily, just reading up on Rwanda and Uganda and the process and paperwork and timeline and expenses. I look at pictures and youtube videos of families with their newly adopted children and tears flow down my face. I can't get it off my mind and I don't want to. I want to talk to Peter about it all the time. I mention it to the kids, just to get an idea of what they think, even though they really couldn't understand the magnitued of it all. There are so many things to consider. But all I know is there is or will be a child out there that needs a loving Christian home. Anytime I've ever heard of a crisis or natural distaster happening, the first thing I think of is the children and wanting to bring them to a safe place. It's a lot to ask of Peter and the boys, and I wouldn't dare ask. Peter has to feel the call, like I think I do. It's so hard to know if it's a call or a strong personal desire. I want it to be God's plan, not mine. That's the only way it would work or be possible. Anyway, it has to be right for all of us.
So many thoughts. So much excitement, anticipation and questions. I look forward to seeing what happens.
Yesterday at work I was one of the nurses for a great couple having their second boy. Their boys were about 34 months apart, which is what Thomas and Keller are. There was a small part of me that wanted to experience that joy of birth and meeting our child for the first time. At the gym this morning there were 2 pregnant women doing cardio upstairs where I was. At first I got a little hurt in my stomach. I think what I want is that anticipation and excitement to share with friends. Adoption wouldn't be the same, but there would still be great anticipation and excitement between receiving the picture and actually going to get our new daughter. Not exactly the same, but it can still be a time of great joy as we share what we're doing with friends and post on Facebook our joys and progress, just like a couple expecting a biological child. It's silly I know.
The more I think about my age and the things that can happen during delivery and the birth defects or conditions that kids can be born with, I am concerned about having another one. We know neural tube defects run in my family. I feel like I don't want to push my luck. We have 2 beautiful healthy children, just b/c I want 4 doesn't mean I have to push my luck. After talking with a family member over the holidays about wanting so badly to be able to get pregnant and carry a child, I thought it would be such a blow to her if we got pregnant again. We were trying to get pregnant then, and I just felt like I couldn't imagine telling her that we were pregnant with our third child. The more I thought about her, the more I thought about all the children out there that need a home and family. Not that she should consider it. If I were not able to be pregnant in my life, I would always feel like I missed out on one, if not the, greatest experience possible. Just that there were parents yearning for children and children yearning for a family. I realized when talking to her that even though I wanted 4 children, there was no reason why they had to be our biological children. The feeling wouldn't leave me and it keeps getting stronger and stronger.
I look at adoption websites almost daily, just reading up on Rwanda and Uganda and the process and paperwork and timeline and expenses. I look at pictures and youtube videos of families with their newly adopted children and tears flow down my face. I can't get it off my mind and I don't want to. I want to talk to Peter about it all the time. I mention it to the kids, just to get an idea of what they think, even though they really couldn't understand the magnitued of it all. There are so many things to consider. But all I know is there is or will be a child out there that needs a loving Christian home. Anytime I've ever heard of a crisis or natural distaster happening, the first thing I think of is the children and wanting to bring them to a safe place. It's a lot to ask of Peter and the boys, and I wouldn't dare ask. Peter has to feel the call, like I think I do. It's so hard to know if it's a call or a strong personal desire. I want it to be God's plan, not mine. That's the only way it would work or be possible. Anyway, it has to be right for all of us.
So many thoughts. So much excitement, anticipation and questions. I look forward to seeing what happens.
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